Home > Short Stories > A Heartbreak Called Blogging

A Heartbreak Called Blogging


“Please, I beg you. Don’t do this to me,” she was in tears as she clutched her phone. The blood seemed to have drained out of her fingers into the red nail-paint. The black kajal in her eyes had exhausted itself, diluted with the strong flush of emotions.

“You have to understand me. It’s not easy for me either. But I have to do it,” he spoke in a noticeable manner to hide his hurt. “You know, I would never do anything to hurt you. I do know what I am doing and you have to believe me.”

“How can you decide about us all by yourself, without even letting me know? Who gave you the right to take decisions on my behalf? You have no right to make me believe in life again and then just tell me that everything had been to make me feel good?” her voice still had more soreness than she could hide.

“I never tried to help you out. Believe me; I can hardly help myself up. You had always been so strong and wonderful. You gave me strength. You showed me what life offers us in the struggles and the endeavors.” He wanted to tell everything she meant to him, but chose not to.

“What about all the talks we had about keeping hope and keeping faith? You want to say that the blogs we wrote celebrating our relationship and maturing as companions were all fake? I sought myself in your words, in your comments and when I am this close to holding on to you, you want us to back out?” she almost screamed in anger. And then broke down, again.

He chose not to speak and let her bring every bit of hurt from inside. He just wanted her to be free.

“I thought you were different. But you are also one of those pretentious bastards who just want to play with words and don’t even care if it hurts anyone later. You created your space in my life. You inspired me to change my perspective about it,” her voice more in control now. “Or you did of pity on me?”

“No. I did not do anything so demeaning to you,” he immediately objected. “I needed you. I had been selfish. I’m nobody to hurt you. The words I said were mine and they were true. But yes, I am a pretentious bastard. I pretended to be strong, which I am not.”

“Everything seems so staged up right now. You think I need you to survive?” the anger in her voice more evident. “I have begged enough in front of you. Live your lies.”

She hung up the phone.

He held onto the phone for about a minute. She was not coming back. His hand moved slowly on the dimly lit computer mouse and he pressed the delete button on his blog.

He once again went on to her blog and cried as he read the last post she wrote:

“I was on the verge of a failed life when I found you. It has been two years of you giving me all the might, the will to sustain and the love to cherish myself. You have inspired me to be who I am today. I am happy that we would be meeting tomorrow. But before that, I just want to tell you one thing – I love you and no matter what happens – I am spending the rest of my life with you.”

He did not resist his soul from drenching in the rain of ache. He let them free. He knew he had set her free too.

He slowly felt his existence below his waist. The young Captain wondered if things could have been different had he not been amputated.

 

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

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  1. June 4, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    I dont know what to feel after reading this. It’s a confused set of emotions.

    • June 4, 2012 at 7:39 pm

      quiet an extreme of emotions our mind catches, right?
      Just enjoy…n forget !
      ( was it a bad idea to write this one?)

  2. June 4, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Heart rendering! The thought of losing something precious that which we don’t possess is also very heartbreaking..for it gives us hope to live with a bright smile..It is like an inspiration that one gets to fill the life with enthusiasm..reason any… a rejectionin any form always kills the soul… I have no words to describe what I felt for this post..

    • June 4, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      it’s not everyday that we come across real pain. The stress and frustration are no where close to how hurtful it may be to loose someone undefined.
      I feel it leaves me more appreciating towards life when I go into some extremes.

      Still, thanks for checking in !!

      • June 6, 2012 at 5:17 pm

        Hi! just thought to give the story another thought in other way! hope u dnt mind..check this http://wp.me/p1Zs7k-qu

      • June 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm

        Now that is something I could not have done – define a story in a poem !!!
        🙂 ….and why should I mind – Suhani jokes that I’ve already spent my share of it !!

      • June 6, 2012 at 8:11 pm

        🙂

  3. June 4, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    This is very touching and at the same time heartbreaking. The whole post just gives out these mixed feelings and once you finish reading it you’re not sure whether you feel deeply sad or appreciating the spark of hope it stirs up. Very nicely written, either way.

    • June 4, 2012 at 8:03 pm

      Hey Phantom !

      First of all, thanks a ton to grace me with your presence. It’s ‘cas of these humble check ins the urge to write keeps on going !!

      Yeah, the concept was heartbreaking. But I did not mean to break any!

  4. June 4, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    It leaves you so sad! It really is heartbreaking… Something you wouldn’t want carry on with you but just enjoy reading it… Writing this didn’t break your heart..?

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

      I want my writings to be a part of me…but I don’t want to live my life in them…they are here to give me strength, speak the value of love, being hopeful and also, knowing how to face pain !

      yes, it did break my heart !

  5. June 4, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    There used to be such situations when people wants to be together but one chose to stay apart only for the happiness of another one without being self greed.. its very painful when you force someone to go away just because you want her/him to be happy.. but I think this is not right to split for any reason when there is so much love..

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:10 am

      love desires holding on…but it sets you free too ! may be love is all you need – but love needs something else….(still trying to figure out that !)
      splitting is never the right option, you must be courageous to face the situation.

      But sometimes, the uncertainty of time and the fear of hurting someone you love makes you drift apart, knowingly !

  6. thesubterraneanworld
    June 5, 2012 at 12:43 am

    This was a really sensitive and breath taking post! In the end, I even felt those goosebumps all over my arms! It was a beautiful set of emotions and more of an inspiration to tackle with your feelings, a ray of hope that every time it is not an excuse o the other side but can be an embrace of helplessness!
    Thank you for sharing Prashant!
    -Naima.

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:14 am

      Hi Naima…Thanks a lot for giving me a breather! The story was written in about half an hour. I was writing something else, stopped before finishing it and wrote this one instead.

      As I said earlier – love is not about holding on…it’s about setting free. Sometimes, you just have to decide against love for the sake of love.

      • thesubterraneanworld
        June 5, 2012 at 10:10 am

        You know what astounds me often about you is your positive approach to life!! I love your perspective of how everything happens to ultimate be GOOD FOR US!
        Blessings,
        -Naima.

      • June 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

        comes naturally after following bloggers like you !!
        thanks 😉

      • thesubterraneanworld
        June 5, 2012 at 10:17 am

        I think you are guiding me to the for off end of hope in everything I see! Can I borrow bit of the optimism eh? 😉
        -Naima

      • June 5, 2012 at 4:56 pm

        all yours…anytime Naima !
        regards…

      • thesubterraneanworld
        June 5, 2012 at 5:27 pm

        🙂

  7. June 5, 2012 at 6:29 am

    You have done a great job in depicting emotional turbulence here. Fear of rejection has overtaken the Captain or his conscience did not allow him to pursue this relationship for not revealing his disability?

    • June 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

      All of us are imperfect entities. But what love makes you see is the perfection in your beloved ones. The Captain saw a perfect being in her and realized that his imperfection must not be something she should live her life with.

      Yes, it was his conscience about how the relationship started without she knowing everything. But rather than the fear of rejection, I would say that it was the fear of putting someone you love into a situation that is unwanted from your side for her.

  8. June 5, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    completely a tangy pick….captivating !!!!

    • June 5, 2012 at 6:15 pm

      thanks a lot…and welcome to WP!

  9. Asifa Zunaidha
    June 5, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    Honestly, it was reality for me and luckily or unluckily, there was no amputation but a marriage proposal on his lap…

    • June 6, 2012 at 7:06 am

      🙂 !!
      hota hai !!! hota hai !!!

  10. June 6, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    this was painful, but even then he should have confided in her, told her every thing before breaking her heart.

    now i am not much of hindi movie fan, where lovers do all sorts of sacrifices and weep for the rest of their lives.

    if two persons love each other truly, very rare accidents will push them apart, people love their dementia patient spouses till death.

    the story was amazing, you captured the pain so very very perfectly! very sad but in this world of miseries you might have given it a sweet ending 🙂

    • June 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

      I never meant to hurt anybody but if it has…my sincere apologies. Also, if it was felt aching it means you were able to relate to it – this only speaks that perhaps it had a hint of reality somewhere hidden.

      Yes, leaving and quitting is never an option in life and love.

      But life and love don’t follow any rules either.

      Thanks for connecting !

    • June 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

      🙂 i would have given it a sweeeeeeeeet mushy ending.

      • June 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

        all yours ma’am ! Would check your post !!

  11. thesubterraneanworld
    June 7, 2012 at 3:11 am

    Hey ya,
    I have nominated you for “The Versatile Blogger Award”
    For further details, follow the link,

    http://thesubterraneanworld.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/season-of-love-shower-of-awards/

    Congratulations!
    -Naima.

    • June 7, 2012 at 7:47 am

      Thanks Naima !
      Such a wonderful start to a new day ! 😉
      would do my best to deserve it !!

      • thesubterraneanworld
        June 7, 2012 at 8:12 am

        You already deserve it!
        Warm Wishes,
        -Naima.

  12. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words
    June 7, 2012 at 10:46 am

    emotions of two sides
    I always think each should have say though….
    you captured my attention frm the first sentence…
    I like the emotional energy in here..
    Take Care
    )0(
    maryrose

    • June 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

      I hope it was worth reading after the first sentence too !
      Thanks a ton ! 😉

      • LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words
        June 7, 2012 at 10:58 am

        it was….
        you are very gifted in
        pulling heartstrings to make us want more…
        )0(

      • June 7, 2012 at 11:04 am

        n you are a sweetheart ! 🙂 !!

  13. June 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    hey! this one is for you! Reader appreciation award! check my post for it… http://wp.me/p1Zs7k-qKe

  14. January 2, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    really good, if u get some time have a peek on my story..Like is on your choice 🙂
    http://www.indiblogger.in/getpublished/idea/321/

    Love Story between a French Girl and an Indian Fisherman set in Pondicherry against the backdrop of Tsunami.

    What happens when they meet ?

    • January 3, 2013 at 2:00 pm

      Thank you Amit for dropping by !
      Zooming to yours ASAP !!

  1. June 5, 2012 at 5:08 pm

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