Alzheimer’s Disease – A Poem From The Other Side

 

Alzheimer’s Disease (AD), is the most common form of dementia. There is no cure for the disease, which worsens as it progresses, and eventually leads to death.

Most often, AD is diagnosed in people over 65 years of age, although the less-prevalent early-onset Alzheimer’s can occur much earlier. In 2006, there were 26.6 million sufferers worldwide. Alzheimer’s is predicted to affect 1 in 85 people globally by 2050.

As the disease advances, symptoms can include confusion, irritability and aggression, mood swings, trouble with language, and long-term memory loss. Gradually, bodily functions are lost, ultimately leading to death.

Alzheimer’s disease is known for placing a great burden on caregivers; the pressures can be wide-ranging, involving social, psychological, physical, and economic elements of the caregiver’s life. In developed countries, AD is one of the most costly diseases to society.

September is World Alzheimer’s Month.

 

SOURCE : WIKIPEDIA

 

All my memories packed in the closet

and an enveloped knowing of the past.

Struggling on a road with strange corners.

I seek a reason that has a right to last.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Muted prayers as if HE sees no worth.

Of an unknown guilt, I am just a mark.

Inside the cold walls of mirrored assistance,

living in numb corridors of brightness and dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know I made it so far with some hope.

Can’t remember how beautiful it was.

Just a living bundle of wait for the inevitable.

How would it end – laden with such flaws?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prescribed Optimism

Addiction is a complex but treatable condition. It is characterized by compulsive drug craving, seeking and use that persist even if the user is aware of severe adverse consequences. 

Addicts are not insane or inhuman. They have taken just one bad decision in life which is too strong and too cruel to just go away.

We need to be the support and the inspiration they need. We need to get them back to “living” their life with patience, care and appreciation.

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Why am I not supposed to show

the hurt that shivers up my core.

Pebbles of tears that I hold inside.

All the Godly courage lost, galore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of those I have walked along,

fighting with prescribed optimism.

More men have fallen but unbroken.

Pledges plagued with cynicism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The type of desires I’ve known

cripples the will to survive.

Begging illusions to fade away.

Reality recedes, demons pry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nibbling upon the lost worth.

Fumes of prayers in dread.

This drug is not going to kill me.

But leave me undead. 

 

Spirit Of Hope – Fighting Cancer

Cancer can affect people of all ages. Few types of cancer are more common in children. In 2007, cancer caused about 13% of all human deaths worldwide (7.9 million). Rates are rising as mass lifestyle changes occur in the developing world.

The people fighting cancer inside themselves or in their loved ones live with the spirit of hope and patience as they embrace every moment with more warmth and more faith.

Cancer gets cured.

 

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They said

I am not going to live for long.

As if I knew what it meant.

Unbounded spirit. Limitless cherishes.

With untangled modesty, I was sent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They said

I won’t look beautiful after this.

They did not know my thoughts.

Impressive stanzas. Splendid verses.

The beauty within is what I sought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They said

It’s going to be difficult.

They had no idea about my family.

Devoted lives. Unprecedented sustain.

A beginning everyday lived gladly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They said

It is something incurable.

Like they have figured it out all.

Negated guilt. Transformed denotations.

Push life a bit more, I must, I shall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ceaseless Love

I know you would still love to see me dance

and sing that 70’s famous song for you.

I know I can still do it a bit, I would try.

And again just fall in love so true.

 

 

Onerous choices you helped me face.

Taking my arm before I fell down drained.

Everytime it was us against the world.

In your eyes my roving soul sustained.

 

 

Still, I try so in vain to hide my awe.

Together we are special and so complete.

Knitting our dreams with flawless grace.

Challenging the odds, to dare them speak.

 

 

Niches crafted for my resolve and core.

Walking towards the ceaseless serenity.

Not wanting a moment without you.

Just cherish and cease life in your purity.

 

Abstemious Spirit of Mine

This life, all life,

seditious courage for lust

emerges from the abyss.

A passion, perhaps not just

 

The cravings of past.

Unsure future in sight.

I seized you closer

with all my might.

 

I beam of you

in my hushed existence.

Holding onto your love

in a dying persistence.

With kisses on my soul; and

an abstemious spirit drawn.

You made me worth

of being a mortal man.

A Perfect Life…With You

Nothing I can hold onto
everything just passess through me.
without your gentle touch
I am not the man I wanna be.
Can’t see  shining or dark
things in front of me.
I live to feel your breath,
closer to you, I am free.

I don’t wanna live forever
but I wanna live it with you.
I don’t know what my God looks like,
but I know he lives in you.

 

I know what forever means.

I lived it,
when I loved you.

A Heartbreak Called Blogging

“Please, I beg you. Don’t do this to me,” she was in tears as she clutched her phone. The blood seemed to have drained out of her fingers into the red nail-paint. The black kajal in her eyes had exhausted itself, diluted with the strong flush of emotions.

“You have to understand me. It’s not easy for me either. But I have to do it,” he spoke in a noticeable manner to hide his hurt. “You know, I would never do anything to hurt you. I do know what I am doing and you have to believe me.”

“How can you decide about us all by yourself, without even letting me know? Who gave you the right to take decisions on my behalf? You have no right to make me believe in life again and then just tell me that everything had been to make me feel good?” her voice still had more soreness than she could hide.

“I never tried to help you out. Believe me; I can hardly help myself up. You had always been so strong and wonderful. You gave me strength. You showed me what life offers us in the struggles and the endeavors.” He wanted to tell everything she meant to him, but chose not to.

“What about all the talks we had about keeping hope and keeping faith? You want to say that the blogs we wrote celebrating our relationship and maturing as companions were all fake? I sought myself in your words, in your comments and when I am this close to holding on to you, you want us to back out?” she almost screamed in anger. And then broke down, again.

He chose not to speak and let her bring every bit of hurt from inside. He just wanted her to be free.

“I thought you were different. But you are also one of those pretentious bastards who just want to play with words and don’t even care if it hurts anyone later. You created your space in my life. You inspired me to change my perspective about it,” her voice more in control now. “Or you did of pity on me?”

“No. I did not do anything so demeaning to you,” he immediately objected. “I needed you. I had been selfish. I’m nobody to hurt you. The words I said were mine and they were true. But yes, I am a pretentious bastard. I pretended to be strong, which I am not.”

“Everything seems so staged up right now. You think I need you to survive?” the anger in her voice more evident. “I have begged enough in front of you. Live your lies.”

She hung up the phone.

He held onto the phone for about a minute. She was not coming back. His hand moved slowly on the dimly lit computer mouse and he pressed the delete button on his blog.

He once again went on to her blog and cried as he read the last post she wrote:

“I was on the verge of a failed life when I found you. It has been two years of you giving me all the might, the will to sustain and the love to cherish myself. You have inspired me to be who I am today. I am happy that we would be meeting tomorrow. But before that, I just want to tell you one thing – I love you and no matter what happens – I am spending the rest of my life with you.”

He did not resist his soul from drenching in the rain of ache. He let them free. He knew he had set her free too.

He slowly felt his existence below his waist. The young Captain wondered if things could have been different had he not been amputated.

 

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

How I Lost My Confidence…

To start the things – this is not a heart breaker!

I have a loving family, got a decent job and I have my finances being taken care of to ensure a comfortable future. I am a happy man!

So, how come someone like me got into the bad waters?

Well, sometimes being simply comfortable is just not comfortable enough.

I have, like the most of us, the life of a common person. We aren’t revolutionaries. We get up, work hard, love the people around us and then take a break. There is least of complication and time seems to just float around. Leaving the odd ups and downs in life there is nothing extraordinarily extreme happening that could shake you apart.

Is it related to someone I wanted to become or something I wanted to do? Maybe, but not absolutely.

I did want to perfect the art of pencil sketching. I hoped that someday I would compose music as I felt that it was one of the purest things one could do. I wanted to have a bodybuilder’s physique with my biceps bulging more than my ego. I wanted to have a black belt in martial arts and attain the complex amalgamation of body, mind and skill (a.k.a Bruce Lee). I wanted to eat whatever I wish and still be lean and fit.

These may sound childish or even funny. But dreams never grow up and become old. They are always as bona fide as anything could be and are subconsciously the reflection of your inner self. One could never seize to dream as the dreams would never seize to be a part of you.

Dreams are expectations. When I wished to do or achieve something as “me”, I dared to expect something out of myself. I fulfilled certain ones and I am living the life I am because of those. But even as the life becomes stable, the expectations don’t simply die.  I was still expecting to achieve a few things. Not that those would have changed anything. These expectations would have refreshed, re-invented, re-energized or rehashed me as an individual.

The dilemma with me aroused where I started contradicting my expectations.

When the mind knows that it is in a contented state of existence, it builds a cocoon around itself. I did the same. I got into a state of insulation and started rejecting anything that was more of emotional than materialistic. Owing to my comfortable existence, I started snubbing my own inner self which had a pretty strong opinion about what more I was capable of achieving. My subconscious was giving me hints every now and then that there was a little bit more for me to explore. On the other hand, I was posing as already contained enough to consider it.

Slowly, the denial becomes a part of our personality. It starts affecting the natural you. The things which seemed just right on the correct spot, suddenly feel too alienating. You are in a slight state of shock that how come you are not in accordance with your daily life. There is nothing around you that is converted to a certain diminished entity just like that. In spite of this, you start having a feeling that maybe you were not doing anything which you actually wanted to do. But you can’t stop either.

Here, I started losing my confidence.  It all started with just a denial.

 

lived forever…

Nothing I can hold onto,

everything just passess through me.

Without your gentle touch

I am not the man I wanna be.

Can’t see, shining or dark,

things in front of me.

I live to feel your breath,

closer to you, I am free.

I don’t wanna live forever

but I wanna live it with you.

I don’t know what my God looks like,

but I know he lives in you.

I know what forever means.

I lived it,

when I loved you